A Letter To My Younger Self

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Dear younger FZ,
I know that right now you are confused, in pain, and very frightened, but everything is going to be even better than ok. You have an injury in your left foot called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (over time you will learn that name off by heart!), and it is a nervous system dysfunction, which means your brain is sending the wrong messages to your foot. Now, this will cause you massive amounts of pain, but the journey you go on and the people you meet are spectacular.
You will be going as an impatient to the Adelaide Women’s and Children’s Hospital, and I know this will freak you out to the point of crying in public, but your parents come with you and tell you stories about when they had to go to hospital and all the people they met, and they make you feel a lot better. When you stay at the hospital, you have lots of hard physiotherapy to get through, but you will meet your physiotherapist that helps you through the pain. You, your mum and your physiotherapist with even go to a cafe in the hospital and you will get so much cocoa in your hot chocolate it will be like heaven! You go to that hospital 3 times, the first time for 4 days, the second for 2 weeks and the last time for another 2 weeks. After the second time, you and your family go on a well overdue holiday to Adelaide. You are on the beach having lots of fun, and even though you put on lots of sunscreen, something terrible happens…your sore foot gets sunburnt! You can’t join in with any other activities that will hurt your foot, but somehow your family makes you feel very included. Always remember how great your family is! So after you finish your holiday (which will still be an amazing, fun time), you have to go back to hospital for 2 weeks. Sadly your last physiotherapist can’t have you as her patient, so you get a new one. It may feel like you are being pushed way to hard and even though after many sessions you have a bit of a cry, you learn much more and still have your mum’s cuddles and your family’s encouraging words. Plus, there is always the StarLight room where you discover a game that could almost be made just for you (spoiler alert! It is a fashion game where you have your own store and avatar and you enter outfits for fashion shows! You love it…and you sort of get a bit addicted to it!)! Once you go to the Adelaide hospital for the third time, it is also the last time!
You end up buying a wheelchair, and you go on weird types of crutches, but you get used to them both. You build up to not using crutches around the house at all and using the wheelchair only sometimes in big places, but you do have to start over because of flare ups every once in a while. You are very strong and determined, and even when you have to start over your process of walking again, you accomplish it.
You have a blog, and everyone is so supportive and encouraging that views it. You are able to talk about struggles, achievements and sometimes random stuff that pops into your imaginative brain! Oh yeah, you also name your two feet Lexi Leftie and Rainy Righty, and you have a Lexiversery once a year to celebrate how long you have been a survivor of CRPS.
Basically, your life is a roller coaster of dramatically painful lows and out of this world highs, but you always have people that love and care about you, so don’t worry, you can get through everything life throws at you! Never give up on anything little FZ!

Love your future self, FZ out!! 🙂

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Just a Kitten with a Lion’s Heart

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Howdy everybody!
I would just like to start off by saying happy New Year! I hope everybody had a great 2015 and got to celebrate the last day with lots of happiness. How was Christmas too? We had a Christmas lunch with some of our extended family, and I must say I got pretty spoiled! I hope everyone had a great, fun and exciting Christmas and New Year.
I apologise greatly for not blogging in such a long time, I have had some busy days recently but don’t worry because I am still The Fluro Zebra!
In 2015, I accomplished lots of my goals but never got round to taking them down from my dream board. Now though, I have taken them down, written on the back when I completed them and what it felt like, and collected them together so that when I am older I can look back. I had three already accomplished and they were: doing the tree pose on my left foot, going to school full time (woo hoo!) and walking without crutches (also woo hoo!). That’s right, I haven’t used my crutches or wheelchair for months and now I am going to school for the entire day! Another big thing about school is that I will be School Captain for 2016!!!! I felt so honoured to chosen and I think that this year will be my favourite for everything.

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My new dreams that are already up on my dream board and ready to be achieved are: 0 meds (which I am already lowering), jog 50m and go down a big water slide in our home town. These I am trying to work towards right now. With all my other dreams, some I am getting close to achieving, for example the fashion show dream. For my birthday this year I got two VIP tickets to a fashion show! I am so excited and I can’t wait for it! It is in March so it’s not too far away. Another example is going to a trampoline park dream. I have been practicing and practicing on a little trampoline so hopefully very soon I can go to that and have some fun!

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So, as you can see, no matter what challenges in life you are facing nothing can stop you achieving your dreams if you hold a determined heart, positive mind and always remember to laugh. Even though I still have CRPS, I have learnt how to manage the pain and reduce the symptoms, and I am so grateful for all my improvements. Two years ago I would never have thought that I would be a school captain, going to school full time and feeling like an actual kid again. Although this has been such a tough experience, I feel like I had it for a reason and now I am noticing all the things I have learnt. My mum always says that I am a kitten with a lion’s heart and I finally feel like I have found my roar!
FZ out!! 🙂

 

Fight Song for a Warrior Girl!

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What’s up?!

I have heard a lot of songs that have basically explained what I am going through in terms of my CRPS, but none have been as perfect as the song below. I have listened to it many times but never noticed what the lyrics were actually saying. I had been stuck in bed after a bad fall for weeks and weeks, but I have been trying to show my power no matter what! Just like the song says “there is a fire burning in my bones” (for me it is my skin) and this is my fight song. Sometimes all you need is someone else to remind you that you are stronger than you feel and that you can do anything you put your mind to. I want to get back to playing basketball and because somebody said I can, I am working as hard as I can trying not to let anything bring me down. If I do get knocked down, I will just get back up, and those are my fight words. I know that everyone is way stronger than they believe and if they can just think about how much they will love and enjoy what they are working towards, they will power through and succeed. Trust me, I know because I have been through it many, many times and to be honest, it is the best feeling to know you have just achieved something that inside your heart is massively big! Now, introducing my new song that I will be listening to whenever I am feeling beaten down. I hope it can help you too…

FZ out!!

PS. The good news is I have recently started walking with crutches again and nothing can stop me now! 😀

Pumping up for Life!

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Bonjour!

Lately it has been extremely tough with my terrible, painful foot. You know when you just need something to give you a little push to make what you need happen? Well, sometimes I find that making the things you absolutely hate doing a bit fun, it can help. So today my blog post is about some really pumpy songs that help me distract my brain and add a little fun to my exercises…the 12 best pump up songs that I have picked out! This is my list:

1. I am Woman – Helen Reddy (I like to sing ‘I am FZ…’🎶)

2. Pump up the Jam – Technotronic

3. Fighter – Christina Aguilera

4. Push it – Salt & Pepper

5. Survivor – Destiny’s Child

6. Roar – Katy Perry

7. Pump it – Black Eyed Peas

8. Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

9. Don’t Worry Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin

10. Shake it Off – Taylor Swift

11. Mr. Boombastic – Shaggy

12. Firework – Katy Perry

If that doesn’t work, I like to watch inspirational stories and I found this one about a pretty special man…

That guy is very amazing. I hope I can get back up from my horrible fall with Lexie Leftie just like he did!

Something else that helps me stay happy and confident through each day are these very true words from Audrey Hepburn. She is one of my inspirations.

I believe that a mix of determination, awesome music, an inspirational video and a beautiful quote of someone that you look up to, can keep you going through the day with a smile on your face and help you achieve miracles!

What is your favourite pumpy song?

FZ out!! 🙂

Breathing Through the Pain

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Hi Guys!
I have been lucky enough that the pain clinic in my hometown have paid for me to have one-on-one yoga sessions. The yoga teacher is so amazing and she has traveled all around the world learning and teaching! She knows lots of different techniques from lots of different countries. One of them was an Indian breathing technique that she showed me, it was called Anulom Vilom PranayamaDeep Breath Advantages of Deep Breathing Exercises and I find that it does a great job. Whenever I am stressed or I bump my CRPS foot I do it, and it helps calm me down.It slows down my breathing because when I am in a lot of pain I find it hard to control. The pain doesn’t go away when I do it, it just relaxes my muscles and my mind. I think it could really help anyone when they are stressed or hurt.
I found a really interesting website that explains this technique well called The Power of Kundalini. I took the information and image below from there. This is how you do it:

  • Sit in a comfortable sitting position. Make sure spine is erect and body is relaxed. Make the body completely still. Relax the body and close your eyes.
  • After some minutes, begin to develop the awareness of breath in the nostrils. With inhalation you whole awareness should move from tip of nose to eyebrow center and with exhalation, move your awareness from eyebrow center to tip of nose.
  • Become aware of the triangular form of the breath. The base of the triangle is the upper lip, its sidea are the left and the right nasal passages and the tip is the eyebrow centre.
  • Firstly, feel the breath moving in and out of the left nostril, then the right nostril. Then be aware of the flow thorugh both nostrils simultaneously.
  • Try to feel that you are breathing in and out through left nostril only. Some imagination may be neccesary for this condition. Your imagination will help to bring about this state in reality. Continue this practice for a minute or two. Then repeat the same thing for the right nostril. Continue this also for few minutes.
  • Now, try to control the breath flow mentally by moving the breath alternately through each nostril. Imagine breath going in with the left nostril and then coming out through right nostril. Then feel the breath inhaled via right nostril and exhaled by left nostril. This completes one round of anulom vilom pranayama. Do 4 rounds.
  • After this, you have to do one round of prana shuddhi. Imagine breath going in via both nostrils and meeting at the eyebrow center, and then starting from center it comes out through both the nostrils. This completes one round of Prana Shuddhi. Both imagination and awareness are required.
  • After this you do 4 more rounds of anulom vilom pranayama followed by one round of prana shuddhi. Continue practising in this manner.

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I have had great results from this and I think you should give it a go too!

Happy breathing!

FZ out!! 🙂

Doubting being Different

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Yo!
The past couple of weeks have been very rough for me. I have had big episodes of migraines and my foot has been playing up again. Since it was so hard for me to walk with crutches, I was using the wheelchair instead. We had to go out lots and when we did people would stare at me, kids would ask what’s wrong with me, and it all would make me feel a bit sad that they were treating me differently. This went on for a long time and I would try to act normal, but everyone was focused on the wheelchair. But now I have really had a think about it all. I already know that everyone’s different and unique. Who cares if people treat you differently. If I’m being honest, I get a bit more respect being in a wheelchair than walking with my own two legs! Strangers were more kind and considerate to me. I have no idea why I was so sad about the situation. I know that I am unique in lots of ways, and I want to show it! From now on I am going to wear funky, fluro ears when I want to, do a bit of dancing without being embarrassed, and just be myself! Being myself is how people like me, and want to be friends with me. Now I honestly don’t care if people stare at me or talk about me, because I will take the positives out of it. All this time people have been very kind. If you are on crutches, in a wheelchair, or have some sort of a disability, I don’t think you should be ashamed of it, be proud of it! Now you can relate to even more people and you will be able to share your experiences. I know I have already done that. When people ask, I explain what CRPS is, which means that I am raising awareness of my condition as not many people have heard of it…knowledge is power! Lots of other people have shared their conditions with me too.
If I were you, I would never look at the negatives of the situation, I would keep a really positive mind! Sometimes if you talk about the issue out aloud, it can clear your mind and you can have a fresh brain.
In my last post, I was doing a random act of kindness. If you think about it, you don’t really know the story behind people. Whether have nothing going on or everything going on, it is really nice to receive a little present, kind words or letter. For example: I have a friend that has something called Aspergers Syndrome. She has trouble understanding things and reading people. Nobody knows she has Aspergers, and so people would say jokes but she would take them seriously. It really hurt her most of the time. I think that if she received a little kindness from anyone she would feel much happier.
You don’t know what is going on in people’s lives if they don’t want to show it. This is how everybody is different. You never know who needs it more, so that is why you should be joyous to everyone. I am trying to make the world a happier place, and there is always room for help…

FZ out!! 🙂

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A Little Ray of Sunshine

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Hey-ho!

I am going through a flare-up with my foot right now. 😦 It has been really bad and it feels like the start of my CRPS all over again. All of a sudden I have to teach my body and brain to walk again.
I named my sore foot Lexie Leftie, and she just WON’T listen to me when I tell her to stop whining and start moving! I have broken down a few times now because it has all gotten so overwhelming. I have had my mum help me through it, and now Lexi is starting to improve a little bit. On the weekend, I was so sore I could hardly move. I didn’t want to go anywhere, do anything or talk to anyone. But my mum and dad got me out of the house and down to the river. I was so lucky that they did, because we fed the ducks and I really thought about the beauty of nature.
I closed my eyes and thought about the sounds I heard. There were birds tweeting energetically, and ducks quacking joyfully. I could hear the trees gently swaying side to side in the wind and the delicate ripples of the water. It reminded of thousands of leaping ballerinas! It was beautiful.
Next I thought about what I could see. There were pelicans and ducks swimming in the river blissfully, birds gliding across the crystal clear, blue sky, and people walking across bridges. As I looked around, I saw a very bizarre thing. It was a goat! That’s right, trotting out of the mystical trees, there was a random goat! I don’t know where it came from, and it should’t have been there but it sure did give us all a laugh!
I thought about descriptive words and what I saw and heard. It is so important to get out of your house and see nature, think about nature, enjoy nature. By getting out and reflecting on the true meaning of Mother Nature, it distracted my brain from the pain and made me go to a really happy place. You can do whatever you like outside, paint your nails (hehe), write a story, read a book, or even play an active game. The sun is very important too. The sunlight gives you vitamin D, colour in your face (remember to not get burnt) and gives you a bit of energy. You can also bond with people. I think that I bonded even more with my mum and dad at the river as we enjoyed each others sense of humor.
So, it is important to get out and take time to get some sun and do an activity. I hope that everybody has a great day and maybe go to the river or park. Tell the sun I say hi!

Thank you for reading,
FZ out!! 🙂

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