A Letter To My Younger Self

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Dear younger FZ,
I know that right now you are confused, in pain, and very frightened, but everything is going to be even better than ok. You have an injury in your left foot called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (over time you will learn that name off by heart!), and it is a nervous system dysfunction, which means your brain is sending the wrong messages to your foot. Now, this will cause you massive amounts of pain, but the journey you go on and the people you meet are spectacular.
You will be going as an impatient to the Adelaide Women’s and Children’s Hospital, and I know this will freak you out to the point of crying in public, but your parents come with you and tell you stories about when they had to go to hospital and all the people they met, and they make you feel a lot better. When you stay at the hospital, you have lots of hard physiotherapy to get through, but you will meet your physiotherapist that helps you through the pain. You, your mum and your physiotherapist with even go to a cafe in the hospital and you will get so much cocoa in your hot chocolate it will be like heaven! You go to that hospital 3 times, the first time for 4 days, the second for 2 weeks and the last time for another 2 weeks. After the second time, you and your family go on a well overdue holiday to Adelaide. You are on the beach having lots of fun, and even though you put on lots of sunscreen, something terrible happens…your sore foot gets sunburnt! You can’t join in with any other activities that will hurt your foot, but somehow your family makes you feel very included. Always remember how great your family is! So after you finish your holiday (which will still be an amazing, fun time), you have to go back to hospital for 2 weeks. Sadly your last physiotherapist can’t have you as her patient, so you get a new one. It may feel like you are being pushed way to hard and even though after many sessions you have a bit of a cry, you learn much more and still have your mum’s cuddles and your family’s encouraging words. Plus, there is always the StarLight room where you discover a game that could almost be made just for you (spoiler alert! It is a fashion game where you have your own store and avatar and you enter outfits for fashion shows! You love it…and you sort of get a bit addicted to it!)! Once you go to the Adelaide hospital for the third time, it is also the last time!
You end up buying a wheelchair, and you go on weird types of crutches, but you get used to them both. You build up to not using crutches around the house at all and using the wheelchair only sometimes in big places, but you do have to start over because of flare ups every once in a while. You are very strong and determined, and even when you have to start over your process of walking again, you accomplish it.
You have a blog, and everyone is so supportive and encouraging that views it. You are able to talk about struggles, achievements and sometimes random stuff that pops into your imaginative brain! Oh yeah, you also name your two feet Lexi Leftie and Rainy Righty, and you have a Lexiversery once a year to celebrate how long you have been a survivor of CRPS.
Basically, your life is a roller coaster of dramatically painful lows and out of this world highs, but you always have people that love and care about you, so don’t worry, you can get through everything life throws at you! Never give up on anything little FZ!

Love your future self, FZ out!! 🙂

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Just a Kitten with a Lion’s Heart

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Howdy everybody!
I would just like to start off by saying happy New Year! I hope everybody had a great 2015 and got to celebrate the last day with lots of happiness. How was Christmas too? We had a Christmas lunch with some of our extended family, and I must say I got pretty spoiled! I hope everyone had a great, fun and exciting Christmas and New Year.
I apologise greatly for not blogging in such a long time, I have had some busy days recently but don’t worry because I am still The Fluro Zebra!
In 2015, I accomplished lots of my goals but never got round to taking them down from my dream board. Now though, I have taken them down, written on the back when I completed them and what it felt like, and collected them together so that when I am older I can look back. I had three already accomplished and they were: doing the tree pose on my left foot, going to school full time (woo hoo!) and walking without crutches (also woo hoo!). That’s right, I haven’t used my crutches or wheelchair for months and now I am going to school for the entire day! Another big thing about school is that I will be School Captain for 2016!!!! I felt so honoured to chosen and I think that this year will be my favourite for everything.

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My new dreams that are already up on my dream board and ready to be achieved are: 0 meds (which I am already lowering), jog 50m and go down a big water slide in our home town. These I am trying to work towards right now. With all my other dreams, some I am getting close to achieving, for example the fashion show dream. For my birthday this year I got two VIP tickets to a fashion show! I am so excited and I can’t wait for it! It is in March so it’s not too far away. Another example is going to a trampoline park dream. I have been practicing and practicing on a little trampoline so hopefully very soon I can go to that and have some fun!

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So, as you can see, no matter what challenges in life you are facing nothing can stop you achieving your dreams if you hold a determined heart, positive mind and always remember to laugh. Even though I still have CRPS, I have learnt how to manage the pain and reduce the symptoms, and I am so grateful for all my improvements. Two years ago I would never have thought that I would be a school captain, going to school full time and feeling like an actual kid again. Although this has been such a tough experience, I feel like I had it for a reason and now I am noticing all the things I have learnt. My mum always says that I am a kitten with a lion’s heart and I finally feel like I have found my roar!
FZ out!! 🙂

 

Random Act of Kindness: August

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Bonjour!

I have been thinking about what my next RAOK could be lately. Then I thought, what about the park?! All sorts of kids go to the park, kids from poor families and kids from wealthy families. Kids that may face challenges, and kids that may not. The thing is you never know what type of life they are living and battles they are fighting.Sometimes tricky stuff can be invisible to strangers (for example, I have CRPS and sometimes people don’t know how tough my life can be at times). I believe that all my kindness gifts go to the right people every time, and I have seen it happen during every act of kindness I have completed in the past. In fact, I found a very special friend through one of my random acts, and she has become a really important lady to my heart. She was fighting a battle that I was not aware of at the time, and she hunted me down to let me know how appreciative she was and we have been good friends ever since.

My latest RAOK was fun to create as I went shopping at a dollar shop for playful activities that the kids could enjoy. I added a little hint of FZ by wrapping my presents in a ribbon that has an Eiffel Tower print (those who know me, know that I’m a little obsessed with the thought of Paris!). I carefully chose some popular parks and placed the gifts all wrapped in clear cellophane on benches and tables before having a quick swing and walking away. My heart felt full of joy and excitement, and although I didn’t witness the recipients faces, I could imagine massive smiles beaming!

I have included some photos below so take a peek if you would like! 😀

FZ out!! 🙂

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Poetry: Words of the Soul

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Ciao!

I recently entered a poetry competition at my school and I wanted to share my entries with you! Those people with chronic pain will understand exactly what I have written about, I am sure.

I am Kind and Unique
An ‘I am Poem’
By FZ

I am kind and unique
I wonder what my future will be like
I hear a beautiful angel humming sweetly
I see the Eiffel Tower glowing in the night
I want to live an exciting life
I am kind and unique

I pretend I feel no pain
I feel sprinkles of hope in the air
I touch the stars in the night sky
I worry about my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome
I cry about the death of my very close bunny
I am kind and unique

I understand sympathy
I say be kind to one another
I dream about reaching out to people
I try to stand out
I hope I can have my normal life back
I am kind and unique

My Pain
A ‘Ballad Poem’
By FZ

The nights are so cold,
My body feeling old,
I need to be safe,
So I go to my room,
As I assume,
That I am doomed.

People ask questions,
And give me suggestions,
But will never know what to do,
When I bite my lip,
And tighten my grip,
People wonder why.

I miss running around,
And jumping on the ground,
With nothing left to do but wait,
I have to work hard no matter the pain,
But there are always things I get to gain,
So my life is okay.

With things to do,
While I am one of the few,
Nothing can stop me now,
My mind is kept busy,
Which sometimes makes me dizzy,
But I just need to make things happen.breathe-in-experience-breathe-out-poetry-quote-1

Fight Song for a Warrior Girl!

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What’s up?!

I have heard a lot of songs that have basically explained what I am going through in terms of my CRPS, but none have been as perfect as the song below. I have listened to it many times but never noticed what the lyrics were actually saying. I had been stuck in bed after a bad fall for weeks and weeks, but I have been trying to show my power no matter what! Just like the song says “there is a fire burning in my bones” (for me it is my skin) and this is my fight song. Sometimes all you need is someone else to remind you that you are stronger than you feel and that you can do anything you put your mind to. I want to get back to playing basketball and because somebody said I can, I am working as hard as I can trying not to let anything bring me down. If I do get knocked down, I will just get back up, and those are my fight words. I know that everyone is way stronger than they believe and if they can just think about how much they will love and enjoy what they are working towards, they will power through and succeed. Trust me, I know because I have been through it many, many times and to be honest, it is the best feeling to know you have just achieved something that inside your heart is massively big! Now, introducing my new song that I will be listening to whenever I am feeling beaten down. I hope it can help you too…

FZ out!!

PS. The good news is I have recently started walking with crutches again and nothing can stop me now! 😀

FZ’s Power Flower

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Hi-Ho!

I hope you all had a joyful Christmas just like I had with my friends and family! But today instead of talking about how nice Christmas was, I am going to talk about something I like to call my ‘Power Flower’.

A Power Flower is what I use to make me feel more determined when my optimistic energy is running on empty. To me, determination is when a switch is flicked on in your brain and your heart feels full because you know you are ready and prepared to achieve any goals you have set. Everybody needs a little extra determination sometimes no matter whether they are having a tricky challenge or something more positive happening in their life. What I do is I draw on a piece of paper a big flower. Next I think about what I really love doing that ‘powers me up’. I normally write down five different things in five different petals. You have to think really hard about it though. Then what I do is I complete one of those things everyday until I have achieved them all. Once I have finished doing all of the activities on the flower, I draw another power flower. For me, usually after I do one thing on my power flower I already will feel a bit more determined. It really helps me get back to where I was when I have a little bump in the road. For example, I will write down have a friend over, or go out for special lunch with my Mum or Dad. These things make me feel like I can do anything! I find it really helps me and soon I am back walking around the house after a hard night. I would recommend you doing something like it if you are going through a tough time. Sometimes doing something for somebody else can make you feel determined. It helps me when I do random acts of kindness. I say give it a go!

Have a fun and wonderful holiday and a magical New Year everybody!

FZ out!! 🙂

FZ's Power Flower

Breathing Through the Pain

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Hi Guys!
I have been lucky enough that the pain clinic in my hometown have paid for me to have one-on-one yoga sessions. The yoga teacher is so amazing and she has traveled all around the world learning and teaching! She knows lots of different techniques from lots of different countries. One of them was an Indian breathing technique that she showed me, it was called Anulom Vilom PranayamaDeep Breath Advantages of Deep Breathing Exercises and I find that it does a great job. Whenever I am stressed or I bump my CRPS foot I do it, and it helps calm me down.It slows down my breathing because when I am in a lot of pain I find it hard to control. The pain doesn’t go away when I do it, it just relaxes my muscles and my mind. I think it could really help anyone when they are stressed or hurt.
I found a really interesting website that explains this technique well called The Power of Kundalini. I took the information and image below from there. This is how you do it:

  • Sit in a comfortable sitting position. Make sure spine is erect and body is relaxed. Make the body completely still. Relax the body and close your eyes.
  • After some minutes, begin to develop the awareness of breath in the nostrils. With inhalation you whole awareness should move from tip of nose to eyebrow center and with exhalation, move your awareness from eyebrow center to tip of nose.
  • Become aware of the triangular form of the breath. The base of the triangle is the upper lip, its sidea are the left and the right nasal passages and the tip is the eyebrow centre.
  • Firstly, feel the breath moving in and out of the left nostril, then the right nostril. Then be aware of the flow thorugh both nostrils simultaneously.
  • Try to feel that you are breathing in and out through left nostril only. Some imagination may be neccesary for this condition. Your imagination will help to bring about this state in reality. Continue this practice for a minute or two. Then repeat the same thing for the right nostril. Continue this also for few minutes.
  • Now, try to control the breath flow mentally by moving the breath alternately through each nostril. Imagine breath going in with the left nostril and then coming out through right nostril. Then feel the breath inhaled via right nostril and exhaled by left nostril. This completes one round of anulom vilom pranayama. Do 4 rounds.
  • After this, you have to do one round of prana shuddhi. Imagine breath going in via both nostrils and meeting at the eyebrow center, and then starting from center it comes out through both the nostrils. This completes one round of Prana Shuddhi. Both imagination and awareness are required.
  • After this you do 4 more rounds of anulom vilom pranayama followed by one round of prana shuddhi. Continue practising in this manner.

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I have had great results from this and I think you should give it a go too!

Happy breathing!

FZ out!! 🙂