A Letter To My Younger Self

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Dear younger FZ,
I know that right now you are confused, in pain, and very frightened, but everything is going to be even better than ok. You have an injury in your left foot called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (over time you will learn that name off by heart!), and it is a nervous system dysfunction, which means your brain is sending the wrong messages to your foot. Now, this will cause you massive amounts of pain, but the journey you go on and the people you meet are spectacular.
You will be going as an impatient to the Adelaide Women’s and Children’s Hospital, and I know this will freak you out to the point of crying in public, but your parents come with you and tell you stories about when they had to go to hospital and all the people they met, and they make you feel a lot better. When you stay at the hospital, you have lots of hard physiotherapy to get through, but you will meet your physiotherapist that helps you through the pain. You, your mum and your physiotherapist with even go to a cafe in the hospital and you will get so much cocoa in your hot chocolate it will be like heaven! You go to that hospital 3 times, the first time for 4 days, the second for 2 weeks and the last time for another 2 weeks. After the second time, you and your family go on a well overdue holiday to Adelaide. You are on the beach having lots of fun, and even though you put on lots of sunscreen, something terrible happens…your sore foot gets sunburnt! You can’t join in with any other activities that will hurt your foot, but somehow your family makes you feel very included. Always remember how great your family is! So after you finish your holiday (which will still be an amazing, fun time), you have to go back to hospital for 2 weeks. Sadly your last physiotherapist can’t have you as her patient, so you get a new one. It may feel like you are being pushed way to hard and even though after many sessions you have a bit of a cry, you learn much more and still have your mum’s cuddles and your family’s encouraging words. Plus, there is always the StarLight room where you discover a game that could almost be made just for you (spoiler alert! It is a fashion game where you have your own store and avatar and you enter outfits for fashion shows! You love it…and you sort of get a bit addicted to it!)! Once you go to the Adelaide hospital for the third time, it is also the last time!
You end up buying a wheelchair, and you go on weird types of crutches, but you get used to them both. You build up to not using crutches around the house at all and using the wheelchair only sometimes in big places, but you do have to start over because of flare ups every once in a while. You are very strong and determined, and even when you have to start over your process of walking again, you accomplish it.
You have a blog, and everyone is so supportive and encouraging that views it. You are able to talk about struggles, achievements and sometimes random stuff that pops into your imaginative brain! Oh yeah, you also name your two feet Lexi Leftie and Rainy Righty, and you have a Lexiversery once a year to celebrate how long you have been a survivor of CRPS.
Basically, your life is a roller coaster of dramatically painful lows and out of this world highs, but you always have people that love and care about you, so don’t worry, you can get through everything life throws at you! Never give up on anything little FZ!

Love your future self, FZ out!! 🙂

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Poetry: Words of the Soul

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Ciao!

I recently entered a poetry competition at my school and I wanted to share my entries with you! Those people with chronic pain will understand exactly what I have written about, I am sure.

I am Kind and Unique
An ‘I am Poem’
By FZ

I am kind and unique
I wonder what my future will be like
I hear a beautiful angel humming sweetly
I see the Eiffel Tower glowing in the night
I want to live an exciting life
I am kind and unique

I pretend I feel no pain
I feel sprinkles of hope in the air
I touch the stars in the night sky
I worry about my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome
I cry about the death of my very close bunny
I am kind and unique

I understand sympathy
I say be kind to one another
I dream about reaching out to people
I try to stand out
I hope I can have my normal life back
I am kind and unique

My Pain
A ‘Ballad Poem’
By FZ

The nights are so cold,
My body feeling old,
I need to be safe,
So I go to my room,
As I assume,
That I am doomed.

People ask questions,
And give me suggestions,
But will never know what to do,
When I bite my lip,
And tighten my grip,
People wonder why.

I miss running around,
And jumping on the ground,
With nothing left to do but wait,
I have to work hard no matter the pain,
But there are always things I get to gain,
So my life is okay.

With things to do,
While I am one of the few,
Nothing can stop me now,
My mind is kept busy,
Which sometimes makes me dizzy,
But I just need to make things happen.breathe-in-experience-breathe-out-poetry-quote-1

Driving Through Life on Your Motto-cycle

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Howdy peeps!

What is your motto? In today’s post I would like to talk about life mottos. When I think a bit negatively and don’t know if I can achieve my goals, I like to come up with a motto to keep telling myself throughout the year. What I do is I think hard of one to suit me for the rest of the year and then I have little everyday ones. My main motto this year is ‘Make It Happen’. I came up with it because I bought a diary that said Make It Happen on the cover. My motto has changed me from being a victim to being a warrior of my condition. I always hope that things will happen positively. I believe that the only way that this will happen is if I make it happen. I am a lucky person but it takes a little work to turn your good luck into personal achievements. It takes confidence, determination, persistence and of course some blood, sweat and tears. CRPS won’t be holding me back!

So if you think really hard, what do you want to say to yourself in those tough times? What do you want to say to yourself when you are feeling sad or weak? Sometimes just telling yourself you can do it makes you power through the situation. I know that thinking positively helps me be determined.

If you want to keep moving confidently through life and not feel like you can’t achieve something, I recommend thinking of a powerful quote or motto to help you push through those moments! So get on your ‘motto-cycle’ and enjoy the ride.
Everyone have a nice day, I’d love it if you shared your life motto with me below!

FZ out!! 🙂

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Breathing Through the Pain

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Hi Guys!
I have been lucky enough that the pain clinic in my hometown have paid for me to have one-on-one yoga sessions. The yoga teacher is so amazing and she has traveled all around the world learning and teaching! She knows lots of different techniques from lots of different countries. One of them was an Indian breathing technique that she showed me, it was called Anulom Vilom PranayamaDeep Breath Advantages of Deep Breathing Exercises and I find that it does a great job. Whenever I am stressed or I bump my CRPS foot I do it, and it helps calm me down.It slows down my breathing because when I am in a lot of pain I find it hard to control. The pain doesn’t go away when I do it, it just relaxes my muscles and my mind. I think it could really help anyone when they are stressed or hurt.
I found a really interesting website that explains this technique well called The Power of Kundalini. I took the information and image below from there. This is how you do it:

  • Sit in a comfortable sitting position. Make sure spine is erect and body is relaxed. Make the body completely still. Relax the body and close your eyes.
  • After some minutes, begin to develop the awareness of breath in the nostrils. With inhalation you whole awareness should move from tip of nose to eyebrow center and with exhalation, move your awareness from eyebrow center to tip of nose.
  • Become aware of the triangular form of the breath. The base of the triangle is the upper lip, its sidea are the left and the right nasal passages and the tip is the eyebrow centre.
  • Firstly, feel the breath moving in and out of the left nostril, then the right nostril. Then be aware of the flow thorugh both nostrils simultaneously.
  • Try to feel that you are breathing in and out through left nostril only. Some imagination may be neccesary for this condition. Your imagination will help to bring about this state in reality. Continue this practice for a minute or two. Then repeat the same thing for the right nostril. Continue this also for few minutes.
  • Now, try to control the breath flow mentally by moving the breath alternately through each nostril. Imagine breath going in with the left nostril and then coming out through right nostril. Then feel the breath inhaled via right nostril and exhaled by left nostril. This completes one round of anulom vilom pranayama. Do 4 rounds.
  • After this, you have to do one round of prana shuddhi. Imagine breath going in via both nostrils and meeting at the eyebrow center, and then starting from center it comes out through both the nostrils. This completes one round of Prana Shuddhi. Both imagination and awareness are required.
  • After this you do 4 more rounds of anulom vilom pranayama followed by one round of prana shuddhi. Continue practising in this manner.

anulom vilom pranayama

I have had great results from this and I think you should give it a go too!

Happy breathing!

FZ out!! 🙂

TENS Machine for Pain

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Hi!
This will only be a short post. I would like to tell you about something I discovered not too long ago. It is called a TENS machine. It is made to reduce pain, and that helps me sleep. You put it on your body (any where you like, I put it on my back or tummy usually) and turn it on from the little remote. Once you press the button you will start to feel a nice pulse. It always makes my eyes sleepy and takes away a bit of pain. But for it to work you have to focus your mind on the feeling and think happy thoughts. It stimulates the nervous system. It is just something I use that helps, so I would recommend one.
FZ out!! 🙂

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The Nature of Art

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Hi guys!

 

Whenever I am a bit sore or too tired to do anything active, I like to create art. I found a lady that made artwork out of nature and I decided to have a go at it. Her name is Justina Blakeney. She is really clever! Her artwork is titled ‘Face the Foliage’ and Mum showed me her account on Instagram.

Yesterday we drove to the park and went on a hunt for different coloured leaves, flowers and lots of other treasures from nature. Once we had collected all the things I needed for my art project, we went home and I started doing a plan on a blank piece of paper. Then I started the real thing and thought I would share how I did it with you. I am not going to tell you what the picture is because it is for me to know and for you to find out! Have a guess and let me know what you think it is and you will find out the answer at the end of this short clip…

 

FZ out!! 🙂

 

 

Cinquain to Distract the Brain from Pain :)

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Hi-Hi People!

Today I will be showing you some poems that I have written myself. They will be about lots of different things that I have going on in my life. Poems are a great way to express how you feel and what is happening. I love poems, especially when they are about other people and describing what they mean to another person. You can write poems as an apology, a present, to express inner thoughts and feelings, or just because you love writing. There are lots of types of poems that you can create. They all look a little different to each other, but that’s the best bit! You can draw a picture to match your poem, or you can just leave it as it is.
Here is a cinquain poem about family, but without a drawing:

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Family
Fun, Funny
Loving, Caring, Supporting
Unforgettable, Joyful, Important, Unique
Relatives

I will only be doing cinquain poems for today. Here is another one about life and how I am living it:

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Life
Difficult, Long
Amazing, Exciting, Challenging
Puzzling, Fluro, Colourful, Surprising
Journey

This next one will be about how fun loving pets are. They can end up being your BFFL (Best Friend For Life!)

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Pets
Cuddly, Active
Loving, Watching, Caring
Crazy, Naughty, Precious, Adorable
Family

This is the last poem for today so I hope you like it! It is about pain. I wanted to save the best for last!

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Pain
Sore, Unfair
Tiring, Crying, Upsetting
Restless, Rough, Tough, Bravery
Torture

Although most of the words were sad in the last poem, I get a lot of good things out of it too. Like experience, muscles, bravery and it makes me more confident when I get hurt. When I do get hurt, like if I scrape my hand on something, all I say to myself is that I am going through much worse than that and that my hand hardly hurts in comparison. So that is the up side to my CRPS!

Maybe you would like to write a poem and express how YOU feel?!

FZ out!! 🙂