A Letter To My Younger Self

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Dear younger FZ,
I know that right now you are confused, in pain, and very frightened, but everything is going to be even better than ok. You have an injury in your left foot called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (over time you will learn that name off by heart!), and it is a nervous system dysfunction, which means your brain is sending the wrong messages to your foot. Now, this will cause you massive amounts of pain, but the journey you go on and the people you meet are spectacular.
You will be going as an impatient to the Adelaide Women’s and Children’s Hospital, and I know this will freak you out to the point of crying in public, but your parents come with you and tell you stories about when they had to go to hospital and all the people they met, and they make you feel a lot better. When you stay at the hospital, you have lots of hard physiotherapy to get through, but you will meet your physiotherapist that helps you through the pain. You, your mum and your physiotherapist with even go to a cafe in the hospital and you will get so much cocoa in your hot chocolate it will be like heaven! You go to that hospital 3 times, the first time for 4 days, the second for 2 weeks and the last time for another 2 weeks. After the second time, you and your family go on a well overdue holiday to Adelaide. You are on the beach having lots of fun, and even though you put on lots of sunscreen, something terrible happens…your sore foot gets sunburnt! You can’t join in with any other activities that will hurt your foot, but somehow your family makes you feel very included. Always remember how great your family is! So after you finish your holiday (which will still be an amazing, fun time), you have to go back to hospital for 2 weeks. Sadly your last physiotherapist can’t have you as her patient, so you get a new one. It may feel like you are being pushed way to hard and even though after many sessions you have a bit of a cry, you learn much more and still have your mum’s cuddles and your family’s encouraging words. Plus, there is always the StarLight room where you discover a game that could almost be made just for you (spoiler alert! It is a fashion game where you have your own store and avatar and you enter outfits for fashion shows! You love it…and you sort of get a bit addicted to it!)! Once you go to the Adelaide hospital for the third time, it is also the last time!
You end up buying a wheelchair, and you go on weird types of crutches, but you get used to them both. You build up to not using crutches around the house at all and using the wheelchair only sometimes in big places, but you do have to start over because of flare ups every once in a while. You are very strong and determined, and even when you have to start over your process of walking again, you accomplish it.
You have a blog, and everyone is so supportive and encouraging that views it. You are able to talk about struggles, achievements and sometimes random stuff that pops into your imaginative brain! Oh yeah, you also name your two feet Lexi Leftie and Rainy Righty, and you have a Lexiversery once a year to celebrate how long you have been a survivor of CRPS.
Basically, your life is a roller coaster of dramatically painful lows and out of this world highs, but you always have people that love and care about you, so don’t worry, you can get through everything life throws at you! Never give up on anything little FZ!

Love your future self, FZ out!! 🙂

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